Training Day(s)

What do E.A.S.Y., CIO, and SLS all have in common?
...
All are methods of sleep training. Why do we need sleep training? Well, because our son, yes, this one right here...

has never gone to sleep on his own. Some babies, well, they just don't get it. And Kameen, anytime I've ever put him down when he wasn't fully asleep (and I mean from day 1 people) has cried like you were murdering him. The only thing that got him there, consistently? BOOBIES, the MOBY, and the CAR SEAT. The time has just come for him to learn to put himself to sleep. I desperately did not want to do any sleep training, but after 9 months of nursing to sleep and dealing with frequent night waking, I began to see how I was doing a disservice to Kameen who seemed tired in the day despite sleeping 12-14 hours. Who wants to wait around for someone else when one is tired?

So to all you lucky parents out there with a baby who "got it" from birth, well, count your blessings, and hope that your next child is just as intuitive. And, read on if you do end up so blessed with a spirited child such as my Kameen. You'll need this information at some point.


The first, stands for:

Eat
Activity
Sleep
You (Mom)

It is a method that emphasizes routine as the key to a happy, well rested baby. It also encourages parents to use the PU/PD method. That's Pick Up/Put Down for all you parents out there with good sleepers. Well, for the most part, we've been on a routine for quite some time. This idea is great, but Kameen is so easily stimulated that picking him up and putting him down over and over again would probably just prolong his confusion about why Mommy won't just nurse him to sleep already.

The second is for:

Cry
It
Out

This method, well, it's just cruel. There are a couple of different cry-it-out methods, including Ferberizing (so named from the author of the book) and extinction (which to me, just sounds mean, harsh, and inappropriate for little babies). Ferberizing involves leaving baby alone to cry, and going in to calm baby at increasing intervals (so, 5 min., then 10, etc.) until he finally falls asleep. This method did not seem good for us because I didn't want to leave Kameen alone, in the dark, to cry when he is used to snuggling up to Mommy and nursing to sleep. Too big of a change in my opinion.

Extinction was not and never will be an option for us. It involves leaving baby to cry and not going to comfort him at all. Eventually he would just pass out from exhaustion and confusion. Uh, they are BABIES!

Next we have:

Sleep
Lady
Shuffle

This method comes from the book Good Night, Sleep Tight. This is the method that our pediatrician recommended at his 6-month check. Well, I looked into it, and I didn't like it. It sounded like just another version of cry-it-out. So, I bought The No-Cry Sleep Solution. This was all a couple of months ago. I implemented a few of the ideas in No-Cry, but it's so subtle, that it seemed almost TOO kind.

So, now, this past week, we're back to SLS. The method involves sitting in a chair right by baby's crib and patting/talking to him intermittently. Then, after a few nights, you move the chair across the room and just soothe with words. Then, to the doorway, until finally you're out of the room. We started it on Saturday, and it has been tough. Of course he has had to cry some, but it's mostly been whining, and if he gets really worked up, the book allows you to pick baby up and soothe them.

Tonight, the fourth night, Kameen,

yes him...



went to sleep in his crib, without crying, on his own. Mommy doing happy dance...

Now, this is supposed to take about 2 weeks, so we could be in for more rough nights like the first 3 were. But hey, he is learning, and I'm right there with him the whole time. I get to watch his face and tell him he's fine. I also get to see him learning to go to sleep on his own, and that is so satisfying. I'm one proud momma tonight! Time for ME to go get some sleep!

Taking the Long Way

Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found

Taking the long way
Taking the long way around

-song and lyrics by The Dixie Chicks

I have to admit, I often do things the "hard way"...or what others would consider the hard way. Why? Well, because I'm a little old fashioned, and modern conveniences can often complicate our lives more than we like to admit (think pitocin = more pain = epidural = failure to progress = cesarean....hmmm, how was that an easier birth?). So, in my mind, what others consider the hard way (midwives, cloth diapers, exclusive breastfeeding, homemade baby food, etc.), I consider to be the natural way, a simpler way.

I am delighted to see so many other mamas doing the same, and taking "the long way." There is something to be said for the way things were once done, before daycare, before supermom, before...dare I say?...feminism. Now, I know I'll catch some flack for saying such "outlandish" things, and I'll admit, I like being able to select a female doctor, but there's a reason God created TWO parents. And it wasn't so they could both work outside the home and send their children off to a building all day for someone else, who probably has children to take care of but has to work, to take care of their children. It's a vicious cycle.

That being said, things are as they are. Our society perpetuates consumerism, and we like it. So, we work, all of us. But, I'm glad to see that many companies are coming around to things like telecommuting and job sharing, etc. This is one way that our modern "conveniences" like the internet and cell phones come in real handy. So, I'm all for us using these "conveniences" to get back to a simpler way of life, where Mama takes care of children and the home, and Daddy takes care of Mama. Even if that means Mama works at home from 9 pm-midnight to earn some income. :)

Let the criticism begin...

Resume

Something happens to a woman when she becomes a new mom, I've discovered on my recent journey. God designed it so that all her attention, every waking moment of it (for the most part), turns to the new bundle. It is His way of making sure the child is properly cared for. And then, when it is time, her brain slowly makes its way out of new baby fog. For some women this only takes a few weeks, for others a few months. It has taken me 8 months. My doula told me that it took her 6 months to "feel normal again." Physically I have felt normal for about 3 months; my body has healed completely from giving birth (also part of the process that takes each woman her own time). But emotionally and mentally I have still been in postpartum; the wonderful honeymoon phase of having a new baby. Until now.

Suddenly, in the past few weeks, I have finally felt a new level of comfort with him. I feel confident when he's in the care of others for the most part (his Great Aunt Jo deserves an award for being the first to keep him for an extended period of time (5 hours!) wherein he had a meltdown for mommy). I'm okay with him fussing and crying a bit, and feel I really know what he needs in those times. He's mobile and becoming somewhat more independent, and so I can go around the house while he plays and do things that before could only be done while wearing him in the Moby. Also, the breastfeeding relationship continues to change as he's taking more solids now. So, perhaps all those things have allowed me to finally look up and remember that I used to be my own person! It's exciting to finally feel like my life can resume, with Kameen in tow, of course.

We've done a lot in the past couple of months, including Kameen's first airplane ride to visit his Uncle Malcolm in Washington DC. He did really well, despite being very sleep deprived. Here are some fun photos to start the week.

I had lots of fun at Cousin Patty's pool, especially since Mom bought me my very own floating crab. I kick my feet like crazy.


We went to the zoo for Cousin Aiden's birthday party...although I took a nap in the Moby while everyone looked at the animals and then in the stroller during the singing and cake. Maybe next year I can have some cake too!


I love my toys and avocado!


Uncle Jamille was lots of fun when we got off the plane. So was being carried around the Capitol Building in the Moby. I screamed once, and Mom says I scared House Speaker Pelosi who was walking by at that moment.



We went to a big building and saw lots of flying things Mom and Dad called airplanes. Right after this photo, I passed out. I was soooo tired, but still smiling. That's all folks!

Rough Road

Sorry for the long hiatus. Once the crawling milestone was being reached, the nightwaking started up again, leaving me very little time to blog or even shower for that matter. :) It seems we may be on the road to sleeping through the night once again.

We had a very busy June, including my youngest nephew's birthday, hubby's birthday, and an unexpected trip to East Texas after the passing of one of Chris's aunts. Kameen of course was the center of attention for much of the 2 trips we took. He's so much fun, I can't even put it into words. I will post pictures very soon, and still really need to figure out the video feature on this thing.

Adventures in Babyproofing

"Birds have wings; they're free; they can fly where they want when they want. They have the kind of mobility many people envy." -Roger Tory Peterson

He: Reaching mobility. Dragging/Crawling. Pulling up in crib; even on lowest setting. Sitting up unattended. Exploring. Bored with IMmobile exersaucer. Reaching, grabbing, flinging himself onto end tables. Seeing everything as SOMETHING he NEEDS.

Me: Searching internet for hearth bumpers. Comparing adhesive durability of corner guards. Getting down on all fours to see it as he sees it. Praying for one more day of not crawling so I can get it all done. Promising myself I will not be a constant "NO" mommy. Trying to let mobility happen. Cringing all the while. Taking video, taking pictures. Wondering if he'll survive. Wondering if house will survive. Thinking we should just bubblewrap it all; maybe him too.

And Then There Were Three

"and the two shall become one flesh..." Mark 10:8

On the eve of our seventh wedding anniversary, I can't help but reflect a moment on all the ways Chris and I have grown together. To think it all started with music and ended up (so far) with a beautiful baby boy! I stand in awe of what the Lord can do when we move out of the way and allow His guiding hand to lead us into His will. He took a small-town girl with talking tennis shoes and curly red hair and put her in the path of an East Texas country boy with a passion for music, God, and being unique (when I met him, he wore blue-and-white striped overalls and had a fro, which would morph into cornrows and finally dreadlocks).

Chris and I are really as different as they come, at our core, but we share our faith, and that, I believe, is the key to a long, healthy marriage. We have seen friends come and go, but at the end of the day, we are each other's best friend. It is incredibly comforting to know that I will always have my best friend with me, to wake up to, to share our children with, and to grow in as many directions as God takes us. I am so grateful and unworthy to have such a fine husband, and Kameen is incredibly lucky to have such a great dad.

Ten Things Tuesday

Ten Things I Was Definitely Prepared for in Mommyhood

1. Diapers - honestly, I babysat A LOT from about age 10 on (thanks cousin Patty)
2. Playtime
3. Sleep deprivation - it really is true what they say; pregnancy totally prepared me for this
4. Singing songs
5. Birth - I studied constantly during my 3rd trimester; I was totally ready for a natural childbirth
6. Cuddling
7. Breastfeeding - this time I mean the act, not the time involved
8. Slobbery kisses
9. Sweet baby smell
10. Having a son - he's all boy for sure!