Pieces of Me

Several months ago I was reading one of my favorite blogs, and Ann Voskamp's words once again brought tears to my eyes and made me think more deeply about my role as a mother. For the past 7 years, I've been reading and re-reading Beautiful in God's Eyes by Elizabeth George about the Proverbs 31 woman, gleaning all I can from the outstanding example the Bible gives us for being a woman of God. Build your home, raise your family, support your husband, work hard, have an industry - all basics for being a P31 woman. And when I read Ann's words, I asked myself if I pluck new feathers from my breast daily or if I give my son, my home, my husband the leftover feathers that have fallen to the ground. Although I cannot say the things Ms. Voskamp says quite as gracefully, I want to measure myself daily against the Proverbs 31 woman.

Here's a few things that I can do to ensure my family is getting the best of me:

1. Put them first! It takes a lot of sacrifice to put family first. I've discovered that just this week when my dream job of being a magazine editor was staring me in the face. It just doesn't seem right for me at this point, even though it is only part time.
2. Be organized. This is so important because disorganization leads to idleness, which, for me, leads to self loathing. Keeping a running to-do list and prioritizing are a couple of ways to stay organized. More than that, being a good steward of my time is probably the most important and most difficult aspect of staying organized. The internet can be an enormous time sucker!
   
3. Spend quality time. Even being a stay-at-home mom it's easy to get caught up in chores and errands all day so that I don't even take time to play with Kameen. I often tell hubby, it's not the quantity of time, it's the quality! I try to remember to sit down with Kameen and play with him. I also have to remember to spend quality time with Chris. He needs it as much as Kameen!
   
4. Give to myself. If there's anything mothers tend to do that's the opposite of what we should do, it's ignore our own needs. There is, however, a fine line between being balanced and being selfish. But, I see that it's important for me to take a break whether by exercising, having a few hours on Saturday mornings alone, or getting a pedicure. It helps me relax and reflect and ultimately be a better mommy and wife.

These are just a few things I can think of to make sure that I'm like those mother ducks. I wonder what other moms do to be the best they can be? I'd love to hear more suggestions.

E.L.E.V.E.N., months that is

E nergetic. Every day you are doing something new, curiously exploring your world. Like yesterday, you practiced throwing a ball and playing hide-and-seek with Mommy and Daddy. What a wonder the world is!

L oving. You come up to me often, hug my legs, play with my hair. You hug my neck tight when you get really excited and affectionate! You are very loving, very cuddly.

E ffervescent. Your enthusiasm and joyful spirit are evident when you clap your hands excitedly as you walk proudly, giggling all the way. You are such a happy baby!

V oracious. You eat heartily. I just love how quiet you get as you intently feed yourself. You are so much like your momma in your eagerness for food!!!

E lated. You wake up talking and singing. You smile often, and bring us smiles often too. My joy has increased because of your joy.

N eighborly. You are sociable, and really like playing with other kids. You especially love the ladies!

Reunions....Magnified

There are reunions that we look forward to: family reunions, being reunited with our spouse after a long workday or travel, even reuniting with my pillow every night is something I look forward to (especially now that I get a good stretch of uninterrupted sleep!).

And then there's the one most people do not look forward to - their high school reunion. Mine was this past weekend, and I chose, for various reasons, not to attend.

According to answers.com, reunite means, quite simply, "to bring or come together again." I linger on the word "again." With the exception of curiosity in general, why would we want to come together again? A very wise friend of mine, Kay, says that people are brought into our lives for a specific purpose, and when that purpose has been fulfilled, they go. I firmly believe that. The people I knew in high school that I have not been in contact with since, were in my life at that time for a purpose, and now that they are not, I believe that's the way it was meant to be. Why go to a reunion and make empty promises and exchange emails and phone numbers with absolutely no intention of following through? I'm a very sentimental person. I do not like empty promises, even if it's something as simple as, "I'll call you" or "We should get together!" I am the kind of person who means that when I say it. If I don't say it, then I won't call you. So, these are the things I thought about when deciding whether or not to attend my reunion. Now that it's over, I'm very happy with my decision and have no regrets about staying at home with my family and with the people who are in my life now.

For it was with purpose. :)

Child-Centered vs. Changing Seasons

It is not unreasonable for a family to be want to be completely child-centered. I mean, look how cute they are!



Just today I received in the mail a magazine solely devoted to a child's first birthday party. As Kameen's birthday is approaching, I took a look through it (how apropo that I received a mailer about a month before his birthday...they're waaatching). There were, of course, all the various themed party supplies. But, the one that really got my attention was the Lil' Prince and Lil' Princess party supplies. For $100 you get plates, cups, utencils, an empty pinata, a CROWN for the little prince, a personalized banner, thank-you cards, etc. It seems like you're getting a lot, but for $100 bucks I could invest in a college fund for my "lil' prince." I can spend $10 bucks on all the rest. :) So, maybe it's just me, but I think this mailer seems extreme and way too child-centered. I mean, of course, yes, we should celebrate our child's birthday. It is an extremely special day...the day we gave birth to him or her!!!! And anyone who knows me, knows I'm obsessed with birth. But, unless the child is really a prince or princess, by blood, then I say let's just focus on the day itself and not on all the party supplies retailers have invented to dig deeper into our pockets.

I say all this to show how easy it is to get completely caught up in our children. It is one thing to be an involved parent who is interested in guiding, providing, and helping our children reach their God-given potential, but it is something entirely different to lose ourselves in the process. And, if all our energy is focused on the children, guess what suffers? The MARRIAGE! The thing that started it all in the first place. This is something I was definitely struggling with and didn't even realize it. But, hubby and I were having more conflict than we'd ever had before. Finally, through much prayer, we came together again as a team to resolve our differences and get back to communicating the way we always have. In a book we are reading together, one sentence brought it all into perspective for me, and I have been different ever since.

Children are with us for a season, but your marriage is for a lifetime.
-Taken from New Baby Stress by David & Claudia Arp-

What a powerful statement!!! This is only a season in our lives, just like being a childless couple was a 7-year season in our lives. Just like being empty-nesters will someday be a season in our lives. And knowing that, that it's really about me and Chris first, is somehow very reassuring. Because no matter what decisions our children eventually make in their lives, it is ultimately in God's hands. We are just to be good stewards of raising them now, to the best of our ability, with the Lord's guiding hand.