Mur Crispmas an Happy Nu Yer

What fun we've had this year on Kameen's officially second, but to us, his first Christmas. It all started when I bought a little tree for our house, which we had on the market at the time. I didn't buy a big tree because we were trying to maximize our space for showings. Ah, the joys of selling. So, we set the tree on the hearth and decorated it with all the ornaments we received last year when Kameen was just 5 weeks old. There was no tree last year, and I don't have to justify that to anyone! Kameen loved the tree! It was just his size. He would walk up to it every morning and talk to it. There was one ornament that he just couldn't stop from taking off the tree everyday, which was fine because it was a stuffed snowman. He also took to adding some of his own decorations.

Christmas was somewhat stunted this year by the fact that our house went under contract just one week before Christmas and we were on the hunt for our next house. We were still able to attend a couple of parties and outings. First we went to the Trail of Lights! Kameen was mesmerized by it all.

Then, Chris and I managed to attend, not one but TWO, holiday parties, sans Kameen. We had a nice time at both, and I'm pretty sure we packed on a couple of pounds while we were at it. :)

In the end, Santa was able to stop by and deliver a few fun presents just for Kameen. When we woke Christmas morning, he was so intrigued by what he found under the tree! It wasn't much, but he still had a grand time tearing the wrapping paper. I somehow managed to make a full Christmas dinner, complete with brown sugar & vanilla glazed ham, sweet potato casserole, cornbread dressing, egg custard pie, and pecan pie. My mom brought the twice-baked potatoes and strawberry pretzel salad. Oh and I also made a cranberry upside-down cake with cognac cream for breakfast. It was all very delicious. Stay tuned for my favorite recipes that I made this year. Just because Christmas has past doesn't mean we can't still enjoy a little more holiday fare!

Kameen loved visiting with Grandmama and Grandpapa. He opened all his presents and then played and played. There were books and a table and chairs that was just his size and a singing bus! He is having a grand time still with all his new toys.

On another front, we have a contract on another home. We are excited about moving (sort of). For me it is bittersweet. I know we have outgrown our home, but I will miss it so much. There's still so much about it that I love. I know I will cry when the day comes to hand over the key (January 19th is our closing day!). I hate that I am so sentimental because I have such a hard time with change. Chris and I put so much time and effort into making this house unique, and it was our first home, it's just so sad to see it gone. But, I know we'll move on to bigger and better things. New memories, new paint, and new babies (someday). It kinda all makes sense to start out the new year with a new home! Fun times. :)

Thirteen...Ain't No Thang But a Chicken Wang

Kameen, you are 13 months old today! Mommy did a bad job of posting on your birthday because she was so busy trying to get ready for your party. You had a blast, and you really enjoyed the other kids who came to see you. Since you turned one, you have really been a toddler. You are starting to climb on everything, which scares Mommy and Daddy, but we know it must happen. You are so independent! If I try to hold your hand, you pull away. If I try to feed you, you spit it out. If I don't give you what you want right away or if I take something away, you have started to throw fits. It's actually cute, but we must teach you a better way to tell us what you want. You love playing with your drum and keyboard. You are a little dancer! The best thing you do lately is give Mommy BIG hugs when she asks, and even when she doesn't. They are the sweetest hugs she has ever had! You like to read to yourself. You are really talking a lot these days. We don't understand what you're saying, but boy are you holding a conversation! We try to respond appropriately. Mommy and Daddy are so excited about what you will do next, and we can't wait for more words to come soon. We love you, love you, love you.

Cake and Turkey and Pie, Oh My!

Kameen's birthday, which was November 18 was a fantastic day. I reminisced about the days leading up to his birth, the labor, the moments right before his birth. It was a defining moment in my life, and will always be a special day to me, Chris, and of course, Kameen.

His birthday party was a lot of fun. My sister, brother-in-law, and nephews came down, which was a nice treat. Kameen became a toddler that day! He couldn't have cared less where I was in the room because he was having so much fun with the other kids. Sad mommy heart. I had a great time making and decorating Kameen's blocks-and-legos cake. It was pretty delicious too! Just ask Kameen, who devoured his little cake.







Then, we had Thanksgiving in Virginia with Uncle Malcolm, Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Jamille, Aunt Tonya, Aunt Kim, and Cousins D and Kelsey. Oh the fun to be had on the staircase in Uncle Malcolm's house! It was a great trip, with lots of turkey and shopping.

Pieces of Me

Several months ago I was reading one of my favorite blogs, and Ann Voskamp's words once again brought tears to my eyes and made me think more deeply about my role as a mother. For the past 7 years, I've been reading and re-reading Beautiful in God's Eyes by Elizabeth George about the Proverbs 31 woman, gleaning all I can from the outstanding example the Bible gives us for being a woman of God. Build your home, raise your family, support your husband, work hard, have an industry - all basics for being a P31 woman. And when I read Ann's words, I asked myself if I pluck new feathers from my breast daily or if I give my son, my home, my husband the leftover feathers that have fallen to the ground. Although I cannot say the things Ms. Voskamp says quite as gracefully, I want to measure myself daily against the Proverbs 31 woman.

Here's a few things that I can do to ensure my family is getting the best of me:

1. Put them first! It takes a lot of sacrifice to put family first. I've discovered that just this week when my dream job of being a magazine editor was staring me in the face. It just doesn't seem right for me at this point, even though it is only part time.
2. Be organized. This is so important because disorganization leads to idleness, which, for me, leads to self loathing. Keeping a running to-do list and prioritizing are a couple of ways to stay organized. More than that, being a good steward of my time is probably the most important and most difficult aspect of staying organized. The internet can be an enormous time sucker!
   
3. Spend quality time. Even being a stay-at-home mom it's easy to get caught up in chores and errands all day so that I don't even take time to play with Kameen. I often tell hubby, it's not the quantity of time, it's the quality! I try to remember to sit down with Kameen and play with him. I also have to remember to spend quality time with Chris. He needs it as much as Kameen!
   
4. Give to myself. If there's anything mothers tend to do that's the opposite of what we should do, it's ignore our own needs. There is, however, a fine line between being balanced and being selfish. But, I see that it's important for me to take a break whether by exercising, having a few hours on Saturday mornings alone, or getting a pedicure. It helps me relax and reflect and ultimately be a better mommy and wife.

These are just a few things I can think of to make sure that I'm like those mother ducks. I wonder what other moms do to be the best they can be? I'd love to hear more suggestions.

E.L.E.V.E.N., months that is

E nergetic. Every day you are doing something new, curiously exploring your world. Like yesterday, you practiced throwing a ball and playing hide-and-seek with Mommy and Daddy. What a wonder the world is!

L oving. You come up to me often, hug my legs, play with my hair. You hug my neck tight when you get really excited and affectionate! You are very loving, very cuddly.

E ffervescent. Your enthusiasm and joyful spirit are evident when you clap your hands excitedly as you walk proudly, giggling all the way. You are such a happy baby!

V oracious. You eat heartily. I just love how quiet you get as you intently feed yourself. You are so much like your momma in your eagerness for food!!!

E lated. You wake up talking and singing. You smile often, and bring us smiles often too. My joy has increased because of your joy.

N eighborly. You are sociable, and really like playing with other kids. You especially love the ladies!

Reunions....Magnified

There are reunions that we look forward to: family reunions, being reunited with our spouse after a long workday or travel, even reuniting with my pillow every night is something I look forward to (especially now that I get a good stretch of uninterrupted sleep!).

And then there's the one most people do not look forward to - their high school reunion. Mine was this past weekend, and I chose, for various reasons, not to attend.

According to answers.com, reunite means, quite simply, "to bring or come together again." I linger on the word "again." With the exception of curiosity in general, why would we want to come together again? A very wise friend of mine, Kay, says that people are brought into our lives for a specific purpose, and when that purpose has been fulfilled, they go. I firmly believe that. The people I knew in high school that I have not been in contact with since, were in my life at that time for a purpose, and now that they are not, I believe that's the way it was meant to be. Why go to a reunion and make empty promises and exchange emails and phone numbers with absolutely no intention of following through? I'm a very sentimental person. I do not like empty promises, even if it's something as simple as, "I'll call you" or "We should get together!" I am the kind of person who means that when I say it. If I don't say it, then I won't call you. So, these are the things I thought about when deciding whether or not to attend my reunion. Now that it's over, I'm very happy with my decision and have no regrets about staying at home with my family and with the people who are in my life now.

For it was with purpose. :)

Child-Centered vs. Changing Seasons

It is not unreasonable for a family to be want to be completely child-centered. I mean, look how cute they are!



Just today I received in the mail a magazine solely devoted to a child's first birthday party. As Kameen's birthday is approaching, I took a look through it (how apropo that I received a mailer about a month before his birthday...they're waaatching). There were, of course, all the various themed party supplies. But, the one that really got my attention was the Lil' Prince and Lil' Princess party supplies. For $100 you get plates, cups, utencils, an empty pinata, a CROWN for the little prince, a personalized banner, thank-you cards, etc. It seems like you're getting a lot, but for $100 bucks I could invest in a college fund for my "lil' prince." I can spend $10 bucks on all the rest. :) So, maybe it's just me, but I think this mailer seems extreme and way too child-centered. I mean, of course, yes, we should celebrate our child's birthday. It is an extremely special day...the day we gave birth to him or her!!!! And anyone who knows me, knows I'm obsessed with birth. But, unless the child is really a prince or princess, by blood, then I say let's just focus on the day itself and not on all the party supplies retailers have invented to dig deeper into our pockets.

I say all this to show how easy it is to get completely caught up in our children. It is one thing to be an involved parent who is interested in guiding, providing, and helping our children reach their God-given potential, but it is something entirely different to lose ourselves in the process. And, if all our energy is focused on the children, guess what suffers? The MARRIAGE! The thing that started it all in the first place. This is something I was definitely struggling with and didn't even realize it. But, hubby and I were having more conflict than we'd ever had before. Finally, through much prayer, we came together again as a team to resolve our differences and get back to communicating the way we always have. In a book we are reading together, one sentence brought it all into perspective for me, and I have been different ever since.

Children are with us for a season, but your marriage is for a lifetime.
-Taken from New Baby Stress by David & Claudia Arp-

What a powerful statement!!! This is only a season in our lives, just like being a childless couple was a 7-year season in our lives. Just like being empty-nesters will someday be a season in our lives. And knowing that, that it's really about me and Chris first, is somehow very reassuring. Because no matter what decisions our children eventually make in their lives, it is ultimately in God's hands. We are just to be good stewards of raising them now, to the best of our ability, with the Lord's guiding hand.

Pediatricians Elude Us

Waaaahhhhh. I hate insurance. OK, not really. But I hate that I now have to change pediatricians (this is our 2nd doctor this year!) because she does not take our new insurance. Darn BAZAARVOICE! Just kidding. I love Bazaarvoice, really. Hi Bazaarvoice, hi there. ;o)

I'm so sad because I looked long and hard for this pediatrician, and I was excited to have an appointment with her this week, until finding out that she doesn't take our insurance. Now, Kameen will never get his shots! Why aren't there more good doctors out there? Boo-hooo. K, I'm done whining.

Also, as of last week, Kameen is WaLkInG. All by himself!!! He walks kind of sideways, and it's just so darn cute. His little chest and belly stick way out and he sort of does a side shuffle. I love love love watching him walk. He is sooo excited. I'm pretty sure it's what he's been waiting for since birth. THAT'S what all the crying was about?!?!?! Sheesh. :D

Now, we need shoes for him to practice in....

Bazaar...voice

That's right folks....Bazaarvoice. Let me break it down.

Bazaarvoice + 2007 & 2008 Best Places to Work in Austin + Market Development Associate + Job offer + Chris = Income = Happy Days :)

Ten Months....Ten Things

Kameen is 10 months today! It has gone by so fast. It's so true what they say, and I miss him being a baby already (even though he is still a baby, technically)! But I see the baby days slipping away, and I have to say I cannot relish them slowly enough. The more fun we have, the faster it goes.

These days, Kameen is doing a lot of things that are just silly and cute. On top of growing more hair, he's hamming it up for the camera more often. CHEEEESE!

10...Kameen lays down every night in his crib, without crying, and goes to sleep! WEEEEE!

9...Kameen practices his walking skills with Mom everyday (he takes steps only when Mom is right there to catch him), as she orders him to "March! March!" He loves it!

8...He now eats 3 meals a day, and has a snack in the afternoon with Mom. He's one hefty eater, and we just love watching him stuff his face. So cute.

7...Our little Curious George is in and around everything in the house. He has even started trying to climb up on the fireplace hearth. Yikes!

6...He makes a monkey sound, which he learned from Mom. It's something like, "Oooh, oooh, oooh, ahhh, ahh, ahhh."

5...Kameen says "Uh-Oh" and knows what it means. He either says the words, or he will hum it to himself.

4...He laughs and giggles like a real little kid. He gives Mom little looks all day when he knows he's not supposed to do something. She calls it his "ornery look." He raises one eyebrow and smiles slyly. Now who did he get that from?!

3...He can close doors and flush the toilet. This could get dangerous, people!

2...Kameen's got rhythm. He regularly practices headbanging (in the air mostly). He also makes drums out of anything that bangs loudly (i.e. pots and pans, tables, his highchair).

1...Kameen gives Mommy and Daddy lots of hugs and slobbery kisses. It's the best of all!

Training Day(s)

What do E.A.S.Y., CIO, and SLS all have in common?
...
All are methods of sleep training. Why do we need sleep training? Well, because our son, yes, this one right here...

has never gone to sleep on his own. Some babies, well, they just don't get it. And Kameen, anytime I've ever put him down when he wasn't fully asleep (and I mean from day 1 people) has cried like you were murdering him. The only thing that got him there, consistently? BOOBIES, the MOBY, and the CAR SEAT. The time has just come for him to learn to put himself to sleep. I desperately did not want to do any sleep training, but after 9 months of nursing to sleep and dealing with frequent night waking, I began to see how I was doing a disservice to Kameen who seemed tired in the day despite sleeping 12-14 hours. Who wants to wait around for someone else when one is tired?

So to all you lucky parents out there with a baby who "got it" from birth, well, count your blessings, and hope that your next child is just as intuitive. And, read on if you do end up so blessed with a spirited child such as my Kameen. You'll need this information at some point.


The first, stands for:

Eat
Activity
Sleep
You (Mom)

It is a method that emphasizes routine as the key to a happy, well rested baby. It also encourages parents to use the PU/PD method. That's Pick Up/Put Down for all you parents out there with good sleepers. Well, for the most part, we've been on a routine for quite some time. This idea is great, but Kameen is so easily stimulated that picking him up and putting him down over and over again would probably just prolong his confusion about why Mommy won't just nurse him to sleep already.

The second is for:

Cry
It
Out

This method, well, it's just cruel. There are a couple of different cry-it-out methods, including Ferberizing (so named from the author of the book) and extinction (which to me, just sounds mean, harsh, and inappropriate for little babies). Ferberizing involves leaving baby alone to cry, and going in to calm baby at increasing intervals (so, 5 min., then 10, etc.) until he finally falls asleep. This method did not seem good for us because I didn't want to leave Kameen alone, in the dark, to cry when he is used to snuggling up to Mommy and nursing to sleep. Too big of a change in my opinion.

Extinction was not and never will be an option for us. It involves leaving baby to cry and not going to comfort him at all. Eventually he would just pass out from exhaustion and confusion. Uh, they are BABIES!

Next we have:

Sleep
Lady
Shuffle

This method comes from the book Good Night, Sleep Tight. This is the method that our pediatrician recommended at his 6-month check. Well, I looked into it, and I didn't like it. It sounded like just another version of cry-it-out. So, I bought The No-Cry Sleep Solution. This was all a couple of months ago. I implemented a few of the ideas in No-Cry, but it's so subtle, that it seemed almost TOO kind.

So, now, this past week, we're back to SLS. The method involves sitting in a chair right by baby's crib and patting/talking to him intermittently. Then, after a few nights, you move the chair across the room and just soothe with words. Then, to the doorway, until finally you're out of the room. We started it on Saturday, and it has been tough. Of course he has had to cry some, but it's mostly been whining, and if he gets really worked up, the book allows you to pick baby up and soothe them.

Tonight, the fourth night, Kameen,

yes him...



went to sleep in his crib, without crying, on his own. Mommy doing happy dance...

Now, this is supposed to take about 2 weeks, so we could be in for more rough nights like the first 3 were. But hey, he is learning, and I'm right there with him the whole time. I get to watch his face and tell him he's fine. I also get to see him learning to go to sleep on his own, and that is so satisfying. I'm one proud momma tonight! Time for ME to go get some sleep!

Taking the Long Way

Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found

Taking the long way
Taking the long way around

-song and lyrics by The Dixie Chicks

I have to admit, I often do things the "hard way"...or what others would consider the hard way. Why? Well, because I'm a little old fashioned, and modern conveniences can often complicate our lives more than we like to admit (think pitocin = more pain = epidural = failure to progress = cesarean....hmmm, how was that an easier birth?). So, in my mind, what others consider the hard way (midwives, cloth diapers, exclusive breastfeeding, homemade baby food, etc.), I consider to be the natural way, a simpler way.

I am delighted to see so many other mamas doing the same, and taking "the long way." There is something to be said for the way things were once done, before daycare, before supermom, before...dare I say?...feminism. Now, I know I'll catch some flack for saying such "outlandish" things, and I'll admit, I like being able to select a female doctor, but there's a reason God created TWO parents. And it wasn't so they could both work outside the home and send their children off to a building all day for someone else, who probably has children to take care of but has to work, to take care of their children. It's a vicious cycle.

That being said, things are as they are. Our society perpetuates consumerism, and we like it. So, we work, all of us. But, I'm glad to see that many companies are coming around to things like telecommuting and job sharing, etc. This is one way that our modern "conveniences" like the internet and cell phones come in real handy. So, I'm all for us using these "conveniences" to get back to a simpler way of life, where Mama takes care of children and the home, and Daddy takes care of Mama. Even if that means Mama works at home from 9 pm-midnight to earn some income. :)

Let the criticism begin...

Resume

Something happens to a woman when she becomes a new mom, I've discovered on my recent journey. God designed it so that all her attention, every waking moment of it (for the most part), turns to the new bundle. It is His way of making sure the child is properly cared for. And then, when it is time, her brain slowly makes its way out of new baby fog. For some women this only takes a few weeks, for others a few months. It has taken me 8 months. My doula told me that it took her 6 months to "feel normal again." Physically I have felt normal for about 3 months; my body has healed completely from giving birth (also part of the process that takes each woman her own time). But emotionally and mentally I have still been in postpartum; the wonderful honeymoon phase of having a new baby. Until now.

Suddenly, in the past few weeks, I have finally felt a new level of comfort with him. I feel confident when he's in the care of others for the most part (his Great Aunt Jo deserves an award for being the first to keep him for an extended period of time (5 hours!) wherein he had a meltdown for mommy). I'm okay with him fussing and crying a bit, and feel I really know what he needs in those times. He's mobile and becoming somewhat more independent, and so I can go around the house while he plays and do things that before could only be done while wearing him in the Moby. Also, the breastfeeding relationship continues to change as he's taking more solids now. So, perhaps all those things have allowed me to finally look up and remember that I used to be my own person! It's exciting to finally feel like my life can resume, with Kameen in tow, of course.

We've done a lot in the past couple of months, including Kameen's first airplane ride to visit his Uncle Malcolm in Washington DC. He did really well, despite being very sleep deprived. Here are some fun photos to start the week.

I had lots of fun at Cousin Patty's pool, especially since Mom bought me my very own floating crab. I kick my feet like crazy.


We went to the zoo for Cousin Aiden's birthday party...although I took a nap in the Moby while everyone looked at the animals and then in the stroller during the singing and cake. Maybe next year I can have some cake too!


I love my toys and avocado!


Uncle Jamille was lots of fun when we got off the plane. So was being carried around the Capitol Building in the Moby. I screamed once, and Mom says I scared House Speaker Pelosi who was walking by at that moment.



We went to a big building and saw lots of flying things Mom and Dad called airplanes. Right after this photo, I passed out. I was soooo tired, but still smiling. That's all folks!