Just today I received in the mail a magazine solely devoted to a child's first birthday party. As Kameen's birthday is approaching, I took a look through it (how apropo that I received a mailer about a month before his birthday...they're waaatching). There were, of course, all the various themed party supplies. But, the one that really got my attention was the Lil' Prince and Lil' Princess party supplies. For $100 you get plates, cups, utencils, an empty pinata, a CROWN for the little prince, a personalized banner, thank-you cards, etc. It seems like you're getting a lot, but for $100 bucks I could invest in a college fund for my "lil' prince." I can spend $10 bucks on all the rest. :) So, maybe it's just me, but I think this mailer seems extreme and way too child-centered. I mean, of course, yes, we should celebrate our child's birthday. It is an extremely special day...the day we gave birth to him or her!!!! And anyone who knows me, knows I'm obsessed with birth. But, unless the child is really a prince or princess, by blood, then I say let's just focus on the day itself and not on all the party supplies retailers have invented to dig deeper into our pockets.
I say all this to show how easy it is to get completely caught up in our children. It is one thing to be an involved parent who is interested in guiding, providing, and helping our children reach their God-given potential, but it is something entirely different to lose ourselves in the process. And, if all our energy is focused on the children, guess what suffers? The MARRIAGE! The thing that started it all in the first place. This is something I was definitely struggling with and didn't even realize it. But, hubby and I were having more conflict than we'd ever had before. Finally, through much prayer, we came together again as a team to resolve our differences and get back to communicating the way we always have. In a book we are reading together, one sentence brought it all into perspective for me, and I have been different ever since.
Children are with us for a season, but your marriage is for a lifetime.
-Taken from New Baby Stress by David & Claudia Arp-
What a powerful statement!!! This is only a season in our lives, just like being a childless couple was a 7-year season in our lives. Just like being empty-nesters will someday be a season in our lives. And knowing that, that it's really about me and Chris first, is somehow very reassuring. Because no matter what decisions our children eventually make in their lives, it is ultimately in God's hands. We are just to be good stewards of raising them now, to the best of our ability, with the Lord's guiding hand.
3 comments:
I totally agree! Kane and I haven't had any struggles with this issue yet, but it's something I've thought about--I want to be prepared if things do get too "child-centered!" My parents were a really good example, so I hope we can emulate them! Willa's birthday is going to be simple--I'm pretty cheap and like to get creative anyway.
I like that quote too. I worry about the same thing sometimes. I also heard someone say you have children to share in your life not take over it.
I can only imagine the stress on a relationship when there is a new addition to the family - one that's as cute as Kameen. I like Kahil Gibran's words on a variety of subjects - including children.
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